Interruptions
by persephuzzled
Summary: Severus gets urges and Harry finds out about Hermione's new relationship. Oneshot. HGSS, HPGW


Disclaimer: I don't own these people (pity…I would like a Severus). I ain't J.K. Rowling. If I was, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing these drabbles. I'm not making money out of this. If I did, I would've started writing a long time ago.

Pairings: HG/SS, HP/GW

A.N: This was inspired by Greg Porter's amazingly hilarious spoof of the GoF movie, found on Mugglenet. It has several references to its contents. The entire spoof can be found by clicking "Spoofs" on the left side of Mugglenet's homepage, then clicking "Movie Spoofs."

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Severus Snape, eyes so intent it could make a Hippogriff back down, stalked down the corridor like a panther chasing its prey, his robes spectacularly billowing around him. It was altogether a rather frightening picture. One would think he was tracking down his worst enemy, but it was quite the opposite.

The-Man-Whose-Robes-Billowed had urges.

Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Faced-Down-Voldemort-But-Was-Still-Intimidated-By-His-Potions-Professor, was very glad that he had his Invisibility Cloak on. Being reprimanded by Snape was not on his list of top ten things to do (numbers one through ten being find his girlfriend and snog her senseless). He was paying a visit to Hogwarts and on the lookout for his About-Time-You-Bloody-Asked-Me girlfriend, Ginny Weasley.

Said girlfriend then just walked by, causing Harry to stop self-congratulating himself on avoiding the old bat to greet her.

"Well, you're a much prettier sight than what just passed by here," he smiled.

"Oh?" queried Ginny. "And who or what just passed by?"

"That greasy git, Snape. He looked ready to Avada Kedavra anyone in his way."

"Hmm… I wonder who the unlucky student is."

"Yeah… who knows what kind of a torturous tongue-lashing he's inflicting upon them right now."

"Well, I know that you're torturing me right now by just standing there…come here, you."

And with that, all farther conversation between the Boy-Who-Is-Not-Gay and his girlfriend ceased.

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_Elsewhere in the castle..._

Severus Snape was not happy.

Then again, he normally wasn't. He was at his happiest when taking points off Gryffindor, snarking at Minerva, or satisfying his urges with a certain Know-It-All-Turned-Apprentice, Hermione Granger.

He had searched this entire wing of the castle for her, and still had no luck. She had missed lunch, too, but she wasn't working, he had already checked. Perhaps the kitchens? Yes, that was an idea. He turned dramatically in a flurry of robes so big it could be called a blizzard and headed back the way he came.

Which turned out to be a very good idea, as a matter of fact. He walked straight into the Boy-Who-Can't-Keep-His-Broomstick-In-His-Pants and Yet-Another-Weasley-Spawn trying to eat each others' faces right in the middle of the hallway. Severus contemplated for a moment what that match would be like. With her family history and his urges...Severus shuddered. Best to retire before the third generation of Potters overwhelmed Hogwarts.

"Mr. Potter, still determined to flaunt the rules, I see. Perhaps ten points from Gryffindor is in order..?" he inquired in his silkiest, deadliest voice.

The Boy-Who-Can-Apparently-Go-A-Long-Time-Without-Breathing managed to detach himself from Miss Weasley long enough to play up his stereotypical Gryffindor bravado. "You can't take points from me anymore, _Professor Snape;_ I'm not a student anymore."

"Possibly the only halfway intelligent observation you've made over the years, Potter, but since Miss Weasley still is, I think I can safely take the points from her. And if I catch you seducing a student again, I _will_ bend the rules and take off points. After all, you've always complained that I never gave you any slack on rules…" And with that, he swept off in a whirlwind, rather, hurricane, of robes. After all: he had urges to satisfy.

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_Several moving staircases, one cowering poltergeist, and one hundred docked points later…_

I spy with my little eye…ah ha One Totally-Should-Be-Bushy-Haired-But-Isn't Hermione Granger.

"I have been looking for you all afternoon," he told her severely.

"Oh? Did you think of a way to tell Harry and Ron?" she asked hopefully.

"No. I was…distracted." And with that, he proceeded to give Hermione a torturous tongue-lashing, just as Harry and Ginny had predicted. Only they hadn't really predicted what _kind_ of torture he was inflicting upon Hermione's senses. Nor had they predicted that a tongue-lashing could be so…pleasurable.

There was very little other conversation until…

"Seducing a student indeed…stupid git. I wish I could catch him doing…Hermione? Is that you? Who's that there with you…" The Boy-Who-Had-No-Sense-Of-Timing-Whatsoever _had_ to get his revenge, didn't he, thought Severus darkly.

"H..Hermione? Is that…_Snape? _Why are you...are you…?" Harry was shocked into silence. Hermione, still not fully rational, looked at him bemusedly.

"Oh hey Harry…can I talk to you later…I'm kind of busy right now." And with that, she went right back to what Harry had interrupted, leaving him to stagger down the corridor in a dazed state.

"Oh, Potter?" Snape's smooth voice halted his shaky progress. "Ten points from Gryffindor for interrupting."

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Reviews are much appreciated.


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